


Lost and Found

by RedPandaPrincess



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Amnesia, F/F, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPandaPrincess/pseuds/RedPandaPrincess
Summary: Janeway is injured on an away mission and has amnesia. It's up to Seven to help her make sense of things.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested this a while back and I just found the beginning of it in an old notebook. Decided to see if I can finish it. Suggestions welcome!

Acrid smoke burned her throat and lungs as Seven stumbled through the wreckage.

“Captain?” she coughed, blinking smoke from her eyes. “Captain!”

They had been on an away mission, to survey a nebula, just the two of them when they'd been hit by weapons fire out of nowhere. There had been no ships in the vicinity, no planets for light years, but whatever it was had torn right through their shields. Seven had been knocked unconscious for several minutes. When she came to she didn't see Janeway anywhere. There was debris everywhere, sparks flying from damaged circuitry, and the shuttle was full of smoke. She didn't even know if they were still in space, all she could think was she had to find the captain. Everything would be okay if she could find the captain. 

She found the captain in the cockpit, pinned beneath a metal beam, flames all around her. 

“C-Captain!” Seven said, coughing. 

She could see Janeway's eyes were closed, her body limp. She didn't even know if she was alive. Heart pounding, Seven moved closer. The heat from the flames was intense. Her skin began to blister, her lungs screamed for air. 

_Irrelevant_!  She told herself. _I must get to the captain!_

She held her breath, ignoring the pain as her skin burned, and heaved the metal beam off the body of the petite starship captain. She didn't stop to see if she was breathing, but lifted the limp body and carried her out of the flames, back the way she came. 

When they were clear of the fire she lay the captain down on the deck where the smoke wasn't as thick. She extinguished the flames that clung to the captain's uniform, then placed her Borg hand on her chest. Relief washed over Seven as she felt the faint heartbeat in her chest. Her breathing was shallow but at least she was breathing. 

She knew Janeway's injuries were extensive. Her face and hair were burned, there was a bleeding gash on her head, there was a bone sticking out of her arm. And those were just the visible injuries. Seven felt sick. Scared. It wasn't a feeling she was accustomed to. 

Janeway began to cough and a red bubble burst from her mouth. 

“Hang on, Captain,” Seven said, scooping her up again. “Just hang on. Don't...don't...”

She stopped at the hatch when she saw stars outside the window. There was nowhere to go. They were trapped. Panic began to set in and Seven slumped against the door, holding tight to the captain. She felt weak. She must be damaged. She tried to run a self-diagnostic but couldn't. She  was damaged. She was malfunctioning. 

She held tight to the captain's limp body, no longer able to detect her heartbeat. 

_ At least we will die together, _Seven thought hazily as he consciousness swam. _I regret...I never told her...how I feel..._


	2. Chapter 2

Seven opened her eyes to the all-too-familiar lights of Voyager's Sick Bay. Immediately she recalled what happened. 

“Captain!” she said, forcing herself into a sitting position. 

“Easy, Seven,” said the Doctor, coming into view, scanning her with a tricorder. “You've sustained a lot of damage-”

“The Captain. Where is she? Is she-?”

“She's alive. Now let me scan you,” he said, pushing her down on the biobed. Seven allowed the scan, relieved to know the captain was not dead. 

“Second degree burns, lacerations, and a concussion. You were lucky. With help from your nanoprobes, I healed you good as new though I suggest regenerating for 48 hours-”

“The Captain,” Seven said, getting unsteadily to her feet. “Where is she? I need to see her.”

The Doctor stepped aside and Seven saw the captain lying on a biobed. She stumbled to her captain's side, her body weak from depleted nanoprobes. Janeway was still unconscious but her face was no longer burned. She wore blue Sick Bay pajamas and was covered with a blanket. Seven touched her arm gently, feeling her pulse strong and steady. 

“She wasn't as lucky as you, unfortunately,” the Doctor said, joining her at Janeway's side. “She was severely burned. She had several broken bones, a severe skull fracture, neural damage and internal bleeding. It was a close call, but I've managed to repair the damage.”

“Why isn't she awake?” Seven asked anxiously, her hand still on the captain's arm. 

“She has undergone a severe trauma. I'm not sure when she'll wake up. Her mind and body need rest – and so do you.”

“I am not going anywhere,” Seven said fiercely, clutching Janeway's arm. “I am not leaving her.”

“I know – we had to pry her from your grip when they beamed the two of you aboard. But she's okay now, Seven. You can go regenerate, I'll alert you to any changes.”

Seven refused to move and gave the Doctor a glare worthy of Captain Janeway. He scowled at her. 

“Fine. At least let me get you a chair,” the hologram muttered. He brought Seven a chair and Seven sat, not letting go of the captain's arm. 

The Doctor returned to his office and Seven studied Kathryn's face. She was paler than normal, her skin had a slight gray tinge to it. She smoothed the auburn hair from the captain's forehead. 

“You cannot die,” she whispered, her mouth close to the captain's ear. “I will not allow it.”

She slipped her hand beneath the blanket and took the captain's hand in hers. Her fingers were cold as ice and Seven massaged them absently. 

_I almost died_ , she thought, gazing at Kathryn's still, unmoving face. _We both almost died. I need you to wake up. I need to tell you how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. How much I respect and admire you. How much I care about you. You must wake up._


	3. Chapter 3

Seven spent the next 8 days in Sick Bay, sitting by her captain's side, waiting for her to wake up. She refused to go to her alcove. She slept, periodically, with her head resting on the biobed near Kathryn's shoulder. The Doctor brought her nutritional supplements. When it became clear she would not leave Sick Bay to regenerate, he began injecting her with replicated nanoprobes to keep her strength up.

Chakotay and Tuvok visited periodically. They tried to convince Seven to return to her duties, but she just closed her eyes and ignored them. Chakotay tried to order her to regenerate, tried to mimic the captain's firm commanding tone, but Seven tuned him out. She had never liked taking orders from Chakotay, she wasn't about to start now. He was not her captain, he would never be her captain. Kathryn Janeway was the whole reason she was on Voyager and was the only reason she had stayed. 

As the days wore on and the captain did not regain consciousness, Seven was overwhelmed with guilt. 

_ Maybe if I had found her earlier, maybe if I had been at the helm, maybe I could have detected the aliens who fired on us, maybe I could have prevented this... _

When Chakotay visited, he would speak to the captain as if she could hear him. Seven thought it was foolish at first but then she began to do the same thing. She knew the captain well enough that she could guess what her responses would be and so Seven had many imaginary conversations with her throughout the days. A part of her wondered if she had gone insane. She knew it was inefficient to sit in Sick Bay, just waiting, but she couldn't leave her. Not when this was all her fault. 

When Kathryn's gray eyes fluttered open one evening, Seven thought she was dreaming. She stood and touched her face. 

“Captain?” she said softly and gazed gray eyes found her face. 

“Beautiful,” Kathryn murmured groggily. “Like an angel...”

“Captain?” Seven repeated and the Doctor hurried out of his office with a tricorder. The captain didn't move as he scanned her, but continued to gaze at Seven with a sort of awestruck look. 

“Who are you?” Kathryn whispered reverently, reaching a hand to Seven.

“Captain? You do no remember me?” Seven asked, her heart pounding. Kathryn shook her head. 

“Do you know where you are?” the Doctor asked as he scanned, frowning. Again, Kathryn shook her head. 

“Who are you?” she asked Seven again, squeezing her hand. 

“My name is Seven of Nine.”

“You are beautiful, Seven of Nine,” Kathryn said. 

For the first time she could remember, Seven felt herself blush. 

“What's wrong with her, Doctor?” Seven asked anxiously. 

“She seems to be suffering a form of amnesia. Do you know who I am? Do you know your name or the star date?”

“Well...” Kathryn said slowly. “You keep calling me 'Captain'. So I guess that's my name.”

“Your name is Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway. You are captain of the Federation Starship Voyager,” Seven said. 

“Kathryn,” she repeated. “Yes, that does sound right.”

“You don't remember Voyager?” Seven prompted. “Your crew? Earth?”

Kathryn looked at her blankly, her gray eyes full of confusion. 

“Do something,” Seven said desperately to the Doctor.

“i need to run some more scans. Lie back on the bed please,” the Doctor said, retrieving a neural scanner. Kathryn lay back down but when the biobed closed around her she began to panic.

“I don't like this,” she said fearfully, struggling to get up.

“It is okay, Captain,” Seven assured, taking her hand again. “You will not be harmed. You must comply.”

Kathryn stilled her movements, gazing intently at Seven while the Doctor performed his scans. 

The Doctor spent the next hour running tests while Seven sat next to Kathryn, holding her hand. Chakotay came by for an update. 

“I can't find a cause. There's no lasting physical damage but the intricacies of the human mind are complex and somewhat of a mystery.”

“We can't just do nothing,” Chakotay said. “There's got to be some way to help her.”

He put his hand on Kathryn's shoulder but she flinched away from him. He frowned. 

“When Neelix and Tuvok were attacked on that away mission last year, you helped Tuvok recover his memory,” he said to the Doctor. 

“That was different,” the Doctor replied, shaking his head. “I've run all the tests and scans I can think of. Physically there's nothing wrong with her. I'm no psychiatrist.”

“What do we do, Doctor?” Seven asked, squeezing Kathryn's hand. 

“Take her to her quarters, show her around the ship. Maybe familiar sights and sounds will jog her memory,” he said. 

“I'll do it,” Chakotay said and Seven stood. 

“I believe the captain would want you on the Bridge, Commander. She's always trusted you to take care of Voyager and the crew in her absence.”

“...right. You're right,” Chakotay conceded. “You know the captain well, the two of you have always had a...special relationship. Maybe you can help her. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'll be on the Bridge.”

When Chakotay left, Seven helped Kathryn up off the biobed. 

“I'm going to keep going over these scans. Call me if anything changes,” the Doctor said. 

“Yes Doctor. Come, Captain,” she said and Kathryn followed her towards the door. 

“Where are we going, Seven of Nine?” she asked, looking around curiously as they left Sick Bay. 

“You usually call me Seven,” she corrected. “And we are going to your quarters, Captain.”

“Oh. ...Did that man with the tattoo say we were in a relationship?” she asked, looking at Seven. The former drone felt her cheeks flush a second time. 

“We are friends,” she told the captain, whose face seemed to fall slightly. “You rescued me from the Borg and have been instructing me in the ways of humanity.”

“What's a Borg?” Kathryn asked, frowning. 

Seven exhaled slowly. This was not going to be easy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok that's all I have for now. Suggestions on how to proceed with this are welcome. What struggles do you think Janeway will have the most trouble with? What challenges will Seven face? Etc.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the advice you guys! I havent slept in 3 days so writing has been a struggle. Depression is fickle.

“The Borg are a... destructive species,” Seven said as they stepped onto the turbolift. 

“Destructive? They kill people?” Kathryn asked.

“No – well, sometimes, yes. They decimate entire societies until there is nothing left of the species. They kill them or they assimilate them – turn them into drones...rob them off their individuality,” she added, when Kathryn looked confused. 

“That's terrible!” she declared, eyes wide. 

“Yes. They took me when I was just 6 years old. I was a drone for almost 20 years before you found me. The Doctor helped restore my human appearance as best he could,” Seven said, absently touching her ocular implant. “And you have been helping me to understand humanity.”

“Well...I'm glad I found you.”

“As am I.”

Seven led Kathryn off of the turbolift and led her down the hall to her quarters. 

“Does anything look familiar?” Seven asked, watching as Kathryn ran her fingers along the books on her shelf in her quarters. She picked up the framed picture of a dog and studied it. 

“In a way...everything is familiar, but it's like...like a dream I can't quite remember, you know what I mean?”

“I do not dream,” Seven stated.

Kathryn touched the glass covering the photo, frowning slightly. 

“That is your dog, Molly. She is an Irish setter. She resides on Earth with your former fiance, Mark.”

“Fiance?” Kathryn asked, startled, putting the picture down.

“ _Former_ fiance,” Seven corrected, hoping the jealousy she felt was not obvious. 

Still frowning, Kathryn continued to examine her quarters. 

“Where is Earth?” Kathryn asked. “You said we're on a starship – a starship I'm the captain of.”

“Yes. Earth is...a _long_ way from here. It will likely be many years before we reach it.”

Kathryn went into the bedroom and Seven followed, hands behind her back. She watched Kathryn pick up the peach satin nightgown that lay across the bed. 

“That is your sleeping attire,” Seven informed. “During the day you wear your Starfleet uniform.”

Curious, Kathryn went over to the closet and opened it. A clean command uniform hung there, among other clothes.

“I wear this?” Kathryn asked, pulling out the uniform.

“Everyday, Captain,” she said. “Perhaps if you put it on, it will help you remember.”

Kathryn nodded and started to pull the sick bay pajama top off over her head.

“I will wait outside,” Seven said quickly, stepping out. She did not wish to invade the captain's privacy, although she was curious. 

When a sufficient amount of time had passed, she went back in.

“Are you sure I wear _this_?” Kathryn asked, tugging on her tunic.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Quit calling me that. I'm not – I don't _feel_ like a captain.”

“What would you prefer I call you?”

“Whatever you like,” Kathryn answered with a smile. Seven had observed enough human interaction to know the smile was a flirtatious one. She felt her cheeks flush and a warmth spread through her abdomen.

“I'm not wearing this,” Kathryn said, shedding the outer tunic and the collared shirt that was beneath it. “It's itchy.”

Seven observed the way her muscles rippled as Kathryn tossed the offending garment away, leaving her in just a tank top, pants, and boots. 

“Your combadge,” Seven said, retrieving the captain's combadge from the Sick Bay pajama top. “You must wear it at all times.”

“Why?” Kathryn asked, pinning it to her tank top.

“Starfleet protocol. It is used for communication.”

“Starfleet?”

“The organization for which you work. This is a Starfleet ship, you are a Starfleet officer. There are hundreds of Starfleet directives and protocols. You know them all and are what they call a 'stickler' for protocol,” Seven said. 

_ Except where I am concerned,_ she added silently, but decided not to confuse her further. 

“I sound _boring_ ,” Kathryn said emphatically. “What do I do for _fun_?”

“You do work a lot, but that does not make you boring. We occasionally play Velocity, or run your DaVinci program. You have taught me to sculpt and paint. You also read.”

“We spend a lot of time together?” she asked curiously. 

“A significant portion of your off duty time is spent with me, yes.”

“Well at least I'm not stupid,” Kathryn said, looking her over. 

Seven suddenly felt very warm. 

“Would you like to see the rest of the ship, Kathryn?”

“As long as you continue to be my tour guide,” Kathryn said, linking her arm with Seven's.

“Acceptable.”


	5. Chapter 5

Seven showed her around the ship. The Mess Hall, the Astrometrics Lab. Everywhere they went crewmembers greeted the captain. She responded politely but it was obvious she didn't recognize them. When they entered the Bridge, Chakotay stood. 

“Captain on the Bridge,” he said and everyone turned to face them. 

“Tell them 'at ease',” Seven said, leaning close to the captain's ear. 

“Oh, um...At ease, everyone,” Kathryn said, a little uncertain. 

Something inside of Seven ached for the familiar command tone. She tried to ignore the feeling as everyone went back to work.

“Still no luck, Captain?” Chakotay asked sympathetically.

“No...Chipotle, right?”

“Chakotay,” Seven corrected as Tom Paris snickered. “He is your first officer. He'll be in command until you regain your memory.”

“Right. Well I'm sure I picked the best man for the job,” Kathryn said, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Captain,” Tuvok said, approaching her. “You do not remember me?”

“No, I'm afraid not.”

“We have been friends for many years. My name is Tuvok.”

“Tuvok,” Kathryn said with a nod.

“Yes.”

While Tuvok introduced Kathryn to the rest of the Bridge crew, Chakotay pulled Seven aside. 

“She doesn't remember _anything_?” he asked her quietly.

“Not even Starfleet. She did not want to wear her command tunic. She said it itched.”

“You get used to it,” Chakotay said with some amusement, then sobered. “What if she never remembers?”

“It has only been a few hours, Commander. Give it time.”

“Right. I had a thought earlier – maybe if she reads her old logs, that might help.”

“A good idea, Commander. I will have her do that after our tour of the ship.”

“What else is there to see, Seven?” Kathryn asked. “I don't think there's anything here for me.”

“Well there's the Shuttle Bay, the Airponics Bay,” Seven listed as they stepped back onto the turbolift. 

“What about _your_ quarters, Seven?”

“I do not have quarters. As I do not require sleep or recreation, it would be inefficient for me to have quarters. I regenerate in the Cargo Bay.”

“Regenerate?”

“Yes, in a Borg alcove. It is much more efficient than sleep.”

“Well let's see your Cargo Bay then.”

When they stepped out of the lift in the Cargo Bay 2, Kathryn looked around curiously. 

“This is familiar,” she said, nodding thoughtfully. “I spend time down here?”

“Some. You often come here to watch me regenerate.”

“Why?” Kathryn asked, brow furrowed.

“I do not know. I do not think you knew I was aware of your nocturnal visits, but I am usually aware, on some level, of everything around me,” she said. “You talk to me...or you talk aloud to yourself. Musing.”

“Hmm.”

Kathryn ran her hands along the alcove curiously, the green glow of technology casting light on her face. 

Seven felt very tired suddenly. It had been 10.2 days since she'd last regenerated. 

_ Now is not the time to rest, _she scolded herself. _Not when the captain needs you_. 

“Come, Kathryn,” Seven said, beckoning her away from the alcove. “I have an idea.”

They returned to the captain's quarters and Seven motioned for her to sit at her desk. 

“Computer, access Kathryn Janeway's personal logs,” Seven instructed.

“Access to that information is restricted,” the computer replied. 

“You do not know your command codes,” Seven stated. Kathryn looked at her blankly. Seven walked over to the wall, removed a panel and pressed several buttons. 

“Access granted,” the computer chimed.

“I get the feeling you've done this before,” Kathryn said wryly as Seven replaced the panel. 

“Yes. When I first arrived on Voyager, I sometimes listened to your logs in an attempt to understand you. Your reasoning, thought processes...You are much less predictable than the rest of your crew, Kathryn Janeway.”

“I don't know whether to be offended or not,” Kathryn sad, sounding faintly amused. “I just hope I didn't write anything salacious.”

“It would be irrelevant to me if you had,” Seven assured. “Now, the computer can help you access your logs – they are usually audio files.”

“Where do I start?” Kathryn asked as Seven lay down on the couch. 

“I suggest you start at the beginning, Kathryn.”

“Computer, play first recorded log for Kathryn Janeway.”

Seven nodded approvingly and closed her eyes as the log began to play.

_ Perhaps I can rest...for just a moment... _

And she fell asleep on the couch with the sound of the captain's voice around her. 


	6. Chapter 6

“This is giving me a headache!”

Seven's eyes flew open and she sat up. Immediately Kathryn flopped down on the couch beside her, arms crossed. Seven's internal chronometer told her several hours had passed. It was now 02:34.

“What?” Seven asked, feeling groggy. 

“All these logs, all this information – it's giving me a headache! And I thought you didn't sleep?”

“I do not, however, I have not regenerated in ten days. I am not operating at optimal efficiency.”

“Why haven't you regenerated, Seven?” Kathryn asked, the scolding so familiar that it caused Seven to smile briefly. 

“i did not wish to leave your side, Captain – Kathryn. It is my fault you were injured.”

“Somehow I doubt that, Seven of Nine. From what I've heard in these logs, you would never let anyone on this ship get hurt, especially me.”

“You got that far in your logs?”

“I may have skipped forward some,” she said with a sheepish smile. “You can go and regenerate, Seven. I'll be alright. I'll get some sleep myself.”

“I am reluctant to leave you,” Seven said hesitantly. “Perhaps you should return to Sick Bay, or I can find someone else to stay with you...”

“I'll be fine, Seven,” Kathryn assured her, touching her cheek gently. “You're sweet to worry.”

Kathryn caressed her cheek gently. Seven felt a surge of emotion so strong it scared her. She stood up quickly. 

“Goodnight Cap-K-Kathryn,” she stammered quickly and left the captain's quarters. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Doctor to Seven of Nine. Seven, respond.”

Seven opened her eyes and stepped out of her alcove.

“Regeneration cycle incomplete,” chimed the computer. 

“Yes, Doctor?” Seven said, tapping her combadge. Six hours had passed. 

“Have you seen the captain? We've tried hailing her, she isn't responding.”

Seven's eyes immediately fell on a figure next to her. Kathryn Janeway was asleep, leaning against her alcove. 

“She's here, Doctor. I'll bring her up in a moment. Seven out.”

Seven squatted by the slouched form of the captain and tapped her shoulder. 

“Captain? Kathryn – what are you doing?”

Gray eyes fluttered open and focused on Seven with a sleepy smile. 

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Wh-” Seven felt her face flush. “Your presence is requested in Sick Bay. Why are you here? And where is your combadge?”

“Oh I must have left it after my bath,” she said, looking down at the olive green t-shirt she now wore. 

“You took a bath?”

“Yes, I couldn't sleep. There's a wonderful bathtub in my quarters, one of the perks of being captain I guess.”

“Is that why you are here, because you couldn't sleep?”

“Partly. Seven, would you help me up? My back's gone a bit stiff.”

Seven squatted and helped Kathryn to her feet. Kathryn groaned and Seven heard her back pop. 

“The Doctor requires your presence in Sick Bay. It's possible he found a way to restore your memory.”

“Oh,” Kathryn said, sounding a little disappointed. “Alright then.”

Seven observed her curiously as they left the Cargo Bay and stepped onto the turbolift. The Kathryn Janeway she had come to know over the past few years would loathe not being in command of her ship. Clearly without her memory Kathryn was a very different person. 

“I suppose once my memory's restored, I'll be the same old boring captain,” Kathryn said, leaning against the wall of the lift with a sigh. 

“You are many things, Kathryn Janeway, but you are definitely not boring,” Seven assured her. 

Kathryn smiled up at her and took a step closer to her. 

“Thank you, Seven,” she said, then stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Seven's lips. 

Seven gasped and stumbled backwards. 

“You should not do that,” Seven said, trying her best to ignore the rush of arousal she felt. 

“Why not?” Kathryn asked, tilting her head, looking up at Seven with a look in her gray eyes that made the former drone feel as if she were malfunctioning. 

“Bet your stuffy old captain never did that,” Kathryn said with a tone of satisfaction as the turbolift stopped. 

Feeling flustered, Seven ushered her off the lift into Sick Bay. 

“Doctor. Tuvok,” Kathryn greeted as she walked in. 

“Captain,” the Doctor greeted. “How's your memory?”

“I still don't remember anything before yesterday but I listened to my logs until I got a headache.”

“Did you sleep any?” the Doctor asked, scanning her. 

“Not really. I took a bath. I read some of the Starfleet regulations but that just made my headache worse. So I went to Cargo Bay 2 to wait for Seven to wake up – er, finish regenerating.”

“It's a good sign that you're able to form and retain your new memories. Your neural pathways look healthy.”

“Have you come up with a treatment plan, Doctor?” Seven asked, finally regaining the ability to speak. 

“Not exactly. Mr Tuvok thinks a mind meld to be a prudent course of action,” he replied with some disdain. 

“Mind meld?” Kathryn inquired.

“It is a technique my species can use to form a telepathic bond. It will enable us to become one mind. It is possible I will be able to help restore your memories,” Tuvok explained.

“You'll be able to read my mind?” she asked, sounding nervous.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“What if there are thoughts I don't want to share?”

“You have 24 hours worth of memories, how can you have secrets?” the Doctor scoffed.

Janeway glared at him. The familiar expression made Seven feel a rush of warmth. Maybe some of the old Janeway was still there. 

“I have performed the mind meld with you before, Captain. Your thoughts are safe with me,” Tuvok assured her. 

Kathryn looked to Seven for reassurance. 

“You can trust Tuvok,” she assured. “He's your friend.”

Finally, Kathryn nodded. 

“How do we start?” Kathryn asked.

“I insist you both wear these cortical monitors so I can monitor your vital signs,” the Doctor said, attaching a device to the base of Tuvok's skull, then Kathryn's. 

“Sit on the biobed, facing me,” Tuvok instructed, sitting on one end of the bed, cross-legged. Kathryn sat on the other end in the same position. 

Seven and the Doctor watched as Tuvok leaned forward and placed his fingertips on Kathryn's face. 

“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.”

Several minutes passed and the Doctor watched on a nearby display as their neural patterns synchronized. 

“Ridiculous,” he muttered. “I can't imagine sharing my mind with anyone, can you?”

“I once shared a mind with millions, Doctor,” Seven reminded him. 

“Right. Sorry, Seven,” he said sheepishly. 

They continued watching in silence. Seven took the time to think on what had happened in the turbolift. 

_ Kathryn kissed me. Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager kissed me...only she  _ isn't _ the captain. If she was the captain,if she was herself...I may have kissed her back.  _

“Locked doors,” Tuvok said, breaking the connection. “Her mind is full of locked doors.”

“Fascinating,” the Doctor said dryly.

Kathryn put a hand to her head, grimacing. Seven hurried to her side. 

“Are you okay, Kathryn?”

“Just a headache,” she assured her with a weak smile. 

“You require rest, Captain,” the Doctor said, scanning her with the tricorder. “All this poking about in your head, mind-melding nonsense has taken its toll.”

“Thank you, Doctor. And thank you, Tuvok, for trying,” Kathryn said. 

“You are welcome, Captain,” Tuvok said. 

“Seven, will you escort me back to my quarters, please?” Kathryn asked, getting up off the biobed and giving Seven a warm smile. 

Seven hesitated a moment, then nodded.

“Very well, but after that I am overdue for a shift in Astrometrics,” she said, which wasn't exactly a lie. It had been almost 2 weeks since she'd gotten any work done, but Chakotay had given up trying to control her. She was nervous at the thought of being alone with Kathryn. Worried she might try to kiss her again...and worried she might like it too much if she did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats all for now. Will try to update again soon.  
> Depression is kicking my butt big time. Everything feels really hopeless and pointless and terrible.
> 
> But thanks for all the comments. i promise i do read them and they do help. Thank you


	8. Chapter 8

Much to Seven's relief, Kathryn did not try to kiss her again. Neither spoke on the turbolift as they made their way to the captain's quarters. Kathryn's eyes were half-lidded, her shoulders slumped. Seven had never seen her captain show such obvious signs of fatigue. 

“Stay with me, Seven?” Kathryn asked once they reached the door to her quarters. 

“I do not think that would be wise, Kathryn,” she said cautiously. 

“Just until I fall asleep. Please?”

Kathryn sounded exhausted and there was a note of vulnerability in her voice that softened Seven's resolve. With a brisk nod she followed Kathryn into her quarters. 

“I won't try to kiss you again if you're scared,” Kathryn said with some amusement.

Seven prickled at the word 'scared'.

“I am Borg. I fear nothing,” she said stoically. 

“Oh, so I can kiss you again?” Kathryn teased, turning around in the bedroom doorway to face her. 

“I – that is not what I- I-”

“I'm only teasing, Seven,” Kathryn said with a smile. “I'll go change into my nightgown, give me a moment.”

Seven stood in the living room and stared at the doorway after Kathryn disappeared. A Kathryn Janeway who teased her, who flirted with her, who had kissed her...Seven didn't know how to feel. This woman, who looked so much like the captain she had come to know and love. 

_ Yes, love,_ she thought to herself. _As if a drone like me knows anything about love. But without her memories, without her command, without Starfleet...is she the same person?_

“Seven?” Kathryn called from the bedroom. Tentatively Seven stepped into the bedroom to find Kathryn already in bed, the covers pulled up to her chest. 

Seven could see her freckled chest and shoulders, hardly covered by the thin straps of her satin nightgown. 

“Just sit with me til I fall asleep, please,” she said, sounding weary. 

“Of course, Kathryn,” Seven said, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Kathryn's covered legs. Kathryn settled in and called for the computer to dim the lights. 

“...Can I tell you something, Seven?” she asked softly after a few minutes had passed. 

“Of course, Kathryn. Anything.”

“I'm scared,” she said softly, her voice breaking. “Being here, on this ship...in this place, and it's my fault we're here. And I'm supposed to be a leader, everyone's depending on me to get us home and I can hardly remember my own name!”

She let out a strangled sob which alarmed Seven. 

“Kathryn,” Seven said softly, not sure what to say. She slid up the bed and put a hand on Kathryn's shoulder, wishing to be of some comfort to the woman who had often comforted her. 

In the dim light Seven could see tears streaking from her gray eyes. She felt a rush of emotion – anxiety, fear, and concern – for the petite starship captain who up until now had appeared to her indomitable. 

“I'm sorry, Seven,” Kathryn gasped through her tears. 

“It's alright, Captain –  Kathryn,” she quickly corrected. “It's going to be alright.”

Kathryn nodded but tears still leaked from her eyes. Acting on instinct she didn't know she had, Seven leaned down and kissed Kathryn's forehead. Kathryn sniffled slightly and Seven reached out and wiped her tears away with her Borg hand. Kathryn did not recoil from the metal, rather she leaned into the touch. 

The Borg implant sent information to Seven's cortical node regarding the chemical composition of her tears. Protein-based hormones – prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leu-enkephalin as well as hydrogen and saline. 

She dismissed the results as irrelevant and absently stroked Kathryn's soft auburn hair. Kathryn's eyes closed, so Seven repeated the action, slower this time. More information swarmed to her cortical node – 45% carbon, 28% oxygen, 15% nitrogen, 7% hydrogen, and 5% sulphur. 

_ Irrelevant information_, she scolded herself. _The chemical composition of her hair is irrelevant. The color of her hair, the texture is...pleasing. Perhaps not irrelevant. Very pleasing...soft..._

Seven continued to stroke her hair until Kathryn's heart rate and breathing had slowed. When she was certain Kathryn was soundly asleep, Seven stood and left the bedroom quietly. She glanced at the sleeping form of the captain once more before leaving her quarters and heading to the Astrometrics Lab. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this chapter typed up today, because you guys are so wonderful and supportive and you deserve it.
> 
> On another note, anyone have any idea how Kathryn might get her memory back? I'm a lil stumped.


	9. Chapter 9

Several hours passed and Seven lost herself in her work. She charted stars, planets, and nebulae. 

She recorded what information she had on the species in the region of space ahead of them. 

She was lost in thought, charting a poisonous nebula, when the doors to the lab opened behind her. 

“Kathryn,” she greeted without looking up from her work. “You should be sleeping.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“I know your footsteps as well as my own,” Seven said. “You should be sleeping, Kathryn.”

“I did sleep, some, but...what is that?” she asked, approaching the view screen. “It's beautiful.”

“It is a nebula consisting of gases which produce subnucleonic radiation,” Seven said, stepping around the console. 

“Is that bad?”

“It is deadly.”

“Ah. It's still beautiful.”

Seven stood next to Kathryn and tried to see the beauty in it. To her it was just a swirl of dust and gas. It was colorful – swirls of blue mixed with green. Perhaps this was where its beauty lay.

“Crossing it would kill us, but it isn't very big,” Seven said, returning to her console. “I am charting a course around it.”

“May I sit here with you while you work?” Kathryn asked, holding up a padd. “I downloaded some of my logs to read. I won't be in your way.”

Seven inclined her head. Kathryn smiled broadly and sat down on the deck cross-legged to read. 

Seven continued working. She tried to focus on charting the nebula but a part of her was hyper-aware of Kathryn's presence. Her heartbeat, her slow, even breaths, every slight movement she made.

When she looked over her shoulder at her she saw Kathryn was not reading, but was watching her work, a pensive expression on her face.

“I wish I could do something to help,” Kathryn said with a sigh.

“Have you considered trying to be of assistance somewhere?” Seven asked, turning to face her. 

“I'd love to help but I don't understand any of this, the chemicals and equations...not like I need to, not like I used to,” she said, getting to her feet.

“...When Tuvok lost his memory, he found he enjoyed cooking. Perhaps you could assist Mr Neelix in the Mess Hall?”

“Do you think I could be good at that?” she asked, sounding hopeful.

“Probably. Cooking is not difficult.”

“I'll give it a try. Thanks Seven.”

“I will come to the Mess Hall and assess your progress after my duty shift. I will see you at 18:00.”

“See you then,” Kathryn said, giving her a warm smile before leaving the lab.


	10. Chapter 10

At 17:45 Seven left the Astrometrics Lab and headed up to the Bridge to deliver a report to Chakotay. She found him in the captain's Ready Room, sitting at her desk. She felt a stab of emotion she couldn't identify. 

_I do not like him sitting in her place_ , she realized. _It is irrational of me. Someone must be in command of the ship._

“My report, Commander,” she said, handing him a padd.

“Ah, thank you, Seven. How's the captain?” he inquired. 

“Unchanged. She's in the Mess Hall at the moment, with Mr Neelix.”

“Not cooking?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“She wished to be useful,” she explained.

“The Kathryn Janeway I know burns even replicated pot roast,” he said with a chuckle. “but maybe she's different now.”

_Maybe she is,_ Seven thought silently. 

“Is that all Commander?” Seven asked, straightening up. 

“Yes. Thanks again for the report. You're dismissed.”


	11. Chapter 11

Seven entered the Mess Hall just in time to see a pan of cookies go flying across the counter. 

“I can't believe it!” she heard Kathryn say angrily. She had never heard such anger in her captain's voice. Heads turned towards the kitchen and Seven hurried past the crewmen in the Mess Hall.

“I followed the directions exactly but everything I touch turns out awful, no matter what I do!” Kathryn was saying.

“Now, Captain,” Neelix said. “I'm sure-”

“ _Don't_ ,” Kathryn snarled, chucking a pot at Neelix's head. “I'm _not_ anyone's captain. Not a captain, not a cook, not-”

“Kathryn,” Seven said, stepping around the counter. 

“Seven,” Kathryn said, her face flushing scarlet. 

“Come with me,” Seven said sternly. 

Kathryn nodded and, eyes cast down, followed Seven out of the Mess Hall. Seven didn't speak but led her onto the turbolift. 

“I've mad an ass of myself, haven't I?” Kathryn said softly. “I'm just...so _frustrated_!”

Seven did not answer but stepped off the turbolift. They entered the captain's quarters together. Kathryn sat on the couch, fists clenched against her thighs.

“Chamomile tea, two cups,” Seven said, approaching the replicator.

“I don't _want_ any damned tea!” Kathryn growled. 

Seven looked back at her, quirking her ocular implant questioningly. Kathryn's cheeks colored and tears filled her eyes. 

“I'm sorry, Seven, I didn't mean to shout at you, I just...I'm so _damned_ tired  of this, of being so useless, so...”

Seven took the two mugs from the replicator and went to sit beside Kathryn on the couch. 

“You are not useless, Kathryn,” she said firmly, handing her a cup. 

“I can't even bake a cookie!”

“You've never been able to cook, Kathryn. Drink your tea.”

“Tea,” Kathryn said bitterly, but took a sip. 

“Chamomile. It is meant to be soothing,” Seven said. “You told me so yourself. You shared a cup with me after a run in with the Borg.”

They sipped their tea in silence a moment. When Kathryn's cup was almost empty she set it aside and put her head in her hands miserably. 

“Everything is just so...” She gestured hopelessly. 

“I know,” Seven said, setting her own cup aside. 

“But you... Seven, every time I look at you I feel...safe. Like everything is going to be okay, you know? And when you...touch me, I feel...”

Kathryn looked away, her cheeks coloring, but before she looked away Seven saw the truth in her eyes. 

“I know,” she said quietly, reaching out and taking Kathryn's hand in hers. 

“Did you? Before you lost my memory, did you know how I felt?”

“I suspected,” Seven answered and Kathryn leaned against her. Seven shifted to put her arm around her and Kathryn molded into her side. 

“I still don't remember but I _know_...I know I love you,” Kathryn said softly.

Seven clutched her tighter, feeling her own heart beat faster in her chest. 

_She loves me_ , she thought silently. _Kathryn loves me._

“I love you,” Seven whispered, blood pounding in her ears. 

“Do you?” Kathryn breathed. “Do you love me...or your captain?”

Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes and Seven turned to embrace her properly. 

“What if I never remember?” Kathryn choked. “What if...I'm never me again?”

“It will be okay,” she said, not knowing what else to say. “It will be...okay.”


	12. Chapter 12

Seven woke a while later, laying on the couch with Kathryn in her arms. One arm was beneath her head, the other around her middle, just below her breasts. Her face was buried in her auburn hair. She breathed deeply, taking comfort in the sweet scent. 

“You're awake,” Kathryn said softly. 

“Yes. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, for a while. No, wait-” she said as Seven started to sit up. “Don't get up yet. Just...please.”

Seven relaxed and kissed a spot below Kathryn's ear.

“Would you like to go lie on the bed, Kathryn? It would be more comfortable,” she murmured. 

_ I used to believe comfort was irrelevant,_ Seven thought as Kathryn nodded and got up. _But her comfort is not irrelevant. Not to me._

She followed Kathryn into the bedroom and watched as she kicked off her boots and socks and crawled into bed. Seven stepped out of her shoes and slipped beneath the covers with Kathryn. Taking her into her arms seemed the most natural things in the world to do as she did so. And when Kathryn moved up to kiss her, that seemed only natural too. She allowed the kiss, allowed herself to deepen it. 

Kathryn didn't move at all as Seven moved her lips against hers. Seven let the tip of her tongue trace Kathryn's lower lip. Slowly, Kathryn's lips parted and Seven could feel her warm breath against her mouth. Then Kathryn's tongue touched hers and Seven felt a shiver go through the smaller woman. 

Seven put her hands on either side of Kathryn's face, drawing her closer as they kissed. Seven explored her mouth slowly, feeling a rush of arousal at every movement of Kathryn's tongue against hers. 

She had imagined kissing the captain before, and as good as it felt something was...off.

Slowly, Seven withdrew from the kiss. She saw the uncertainty, the anxiety in Kathryn's gray eyes. Seven smiled sadly and kissed Kathryn's nose.

“Not now,” she murmured, then kissed her forehead. “You should rest, Kathryn.”

“But Seven, I-”

“Rest,” Seven said firmly, kissing her lips once more. “I will not leave you.”


	13. Chapter 13

Seven woke before Kathryn the next morning. She watched her sleep for nearly an hour – her eyes moving behind her pale eyelids. A wisp of auburn hair that moved with every soft exhale of her sweet breath. 

_I love her_ , she realized. _Whether she is the captain, or just Kathryn, I love her._

Smiling, Seven slid out from under the covers and went into the living room. She went to the replicator and called for a coffee, black. 

“Seven?” Kathryn called sleepily. 

Seven took the cup and went back into the bedroom to find Kathryn sitting up, eyes half-closed, her hair tousled from sleep.

“Coffee,” Seven said, handing her the cup. Kathryn drank deeply, then looked up at her, gray eyes sparkling. 

“I thought it was all a dream,” she said, a bit breathless. “Seven, the accident – I remember. I remember everything.”

“You do?” Seven asked, feeling her heart skip a beat. 

“Yes, everything. Starfleet, Voyager – you. Everything.”

“We should go to Sick Bay, let the Doctor determine-”

“Wait,” Kathryn said in her familiar command tone. Seven froze and a shiver of pleasure went through her. Kathryn set the cup on the bedside table and knelt on the bed. 

“Come,” she said to Seven, putting her hand out. Seven stepped forward obediently. Kathryn took her hand and pulled her to her. Kathryn captured her lips, kissing her possessively, hungrily. 

It was like she'd touched an open plasma conduit. Her knees threatened to buckle and she grabbed Kathryn's shoulders for support. 

“Kathryn,” she gasped against her mouth. “Captain...”

“ _Seven_ ,” Kathryn said, her voice low and husky, laden with desire. “Now. You were right to wait before, Seven, but now-?”

“Yes,” she gasped, unable to say anything else. She took a step back and reached for the clasp of her biosuit. She heard Kathryn groan softly as she peeled the fabric away from her body and stepped out of it. She looked down to see Kathryn's gray eyes, full of lust, drinking her in hungrily. 

Kathryn stood and drew her close, her hands resting on Seven's waist, just above the metal bands of her abdominal implant. 

“Beautiful,” she whispered, gazing into Seven's eyes a moment before kissing her again. 

The kiss was soft at first then became more demanding as Kathryn's hands explored her body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She traced the skin along her abdominal implant to her back – up her back, her shoulders, then back down again to grasp her ass firmly.

At first Seven was so overwhelmed by sensation that she couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but _feel_...then she realized she wanted to feel more. Needed to. 

Seven reached for the hem of Kathryn's shirt and slipped her hands beneath it. Her skin was hot, like fire, but soft and alive. She moved her hands up slowly, enjoying the feeling of her skin. When her fingers brushed the underside of Kathryn's breasts, she felt Kathryn groan into the kiss. 

Seven broke the kiss abruptly to pull Kathryn's shirt over her head, eager to see and feel more of her. Kathryn moaned her assent and unfastened her pants. She shimmied her way out of them, along with her underwear, until she stood nude before her. 

Kathryn took a step back towards the bed to let Seven look at her. For a moment all Seven could do was look. 

_Beauty_ , she thought as she gazed at her. I _s not irrelevant_.

“You're staring, Seven,” Kathryn said softly, a hint of amusement in her voice. 

“I've never seen anyone naked before, other than myself,” Seven admitted, unable to tear her gaze away from Kathryn's breasts. They were smaller than her own, her nipples a darker shade of pink. They seemed to grow harder under her gaze. 

“Is this moving too quickly for you?” Kathryn murmured, concerned. 

“No!” Seven said adamantly, looking up to meet her gaze finally. Kathryn's gray eyes softened as she chuckled softly. 

“Well alright then,” she said. 

Seven watched as Kathryn moved back onto the bed and reclined against the pillows. Kathryn tilted her head and gave Seven a smile as she moved a hand between her own legs. Fascinated, Seven watched her touch herself until she realized she should be doing something. 

Climbing onto the bed, Seven lowered her mouth to Kathryn's breast. She drew the hard nipple between her lips and flicked it with her tongue. Kathryn gave her soft moans of encouragement, still touching herself as Seven teased her nipple with her tongue. 

She rasped the nipple lightly with her teeth, curious. Kathryn let out a soft cry of delight and Seven released her nipple to look up at her. 

“I've never – seen you smile – like that, Seven,” Kathryn panted. Seven smiled broader, then turned her attention to Kathryn's other breast. 

Suddenly, Seven felt Kathryn's hand between her legs. She shifted to accommodate her and Kathryn cupped her hairless mound. Her palm was firm against her clitoris, her fingertips just barely brushing her entrance. Seven moaned without intending to and the vibration from her voice drew a gasp from Kathryn's lips.

_What an amazing sound,_ Seven thought. She broke away from Kathryn's breasts and moved up to kiss her lips. The changed in position allowed Kathryn finger to enter her and Seven moaned again. She couldn't concentrate on the kiss and Kathryn moved her lips to her ear. 

“What do you want, Seven? What do you want to feel?” she asked, her breath hot. 

“All of it. Everything,” Seven groaned, moving her hips against Kathryn's hand. “I want to taste you. Can I taste you, Captain?”

She heard Kathryn's sharp intake of breath. It occurred to her that it was probably inappropriate to call her lover by her rank in bed, but then she saw Kathryn's pupils dilate further. 

“God, yes, Seven,” she said. 

Seven moved down her body and Kathryn parted her legs. Seven studied her curiously first, admiring the glistening folds. She dipped one finger into the wetness, spreading it around. Finally she lowered her mouth, the auburn curls ticking her nose as Seven kissed her slit. She gave her a small lick, tasting her, and she felt Kathryn shudder beneath her. 

Seven inhaled her scent before going back to taste more of her. She heard Kathryn's breathing quicken and the sound made the heat between her own legs almost unbearable. With one hand she gently parted Kathryn's sensitive skin to explore more of her. 

When her tongue found the tight bud of Kathryn's clitoris, Kathryn cried her name. She felt an answering twitch between her own legs. Seven softened her tongue and licked her way around the sensitive nub before drawing it gently into her mouth. 

Kathryn's body tensed and her body raised to meet Seven's mouth. Her hips bucked against her face and Seven felt a flood of juice on her chin as Kathryn climaxed, letting loose a low cry. 

As Kathryn's body relaxed, Seven lifted her head to watch her lover come down. 

“God, Seven,” she said breathlessly. “That was...amazing. Where did you learn to do that?”

“I am Borg,” Seven said, feeling a bit smug. 

“You are _something_ ,” Kathryn said with a laugh, pulling Seven up to kiss her. “Now – your turn. On your back, beautiful.”

Seven rolled over obediently and Kathryn positioned herself between Seven's thighs. At the first sensation of Kathryn's hot, slick tongue against her, Seven whimpered. Kathryn's head shot up in surprise. 

“I didn't know Borg could whimper,” she said, amused. 

“ _Captain_ ,” Seven said insistently. “Please – again.”

Kathryn lowered her mouth to lick up and down the length of her. She found her hardened clitoris easily and began to ravish it with her tongue. Seven couldn't stop the whimpers and moans of pleasure she had not known she was capable of feeling. She was burning up from the inside out and loving every moment. 

When Kathryn pressed a finger inside of her, Seven cried out her name – or her rank, she wasn't sure. She cried out with every thrust of her amazing fingers until the world exploded in a burst of white. 

As she came down from it all she became aware that she was shaking. She felt Kathryn move up beside her and draw her trembling body close to her. 

“Kathryn,” she said when she could finally speak. She intended to tell her that it had been the most incredible thing she had ever experienced, that she was amazing and beautiful, and she loved her. But all she could say was her name, so she said it again. “Kathryn.”

Kathryn chuckled and kissed her, holding her tightly. 

“I love you, too, Seven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Thanks for all the comments and kudos!


End file.
